partybarackisinthehousetonight:

never let your printer know that you waited until the last minute to print something and you’re in a hurry. they can sense fear

i-learned-it-from-the-pizzaman:

So my teacher told us that two blue eyed people can’t have a brown eyed kid and this kid in my class said “but both my parents have blue eyes and I have brown eyes”.  The teacher said “so you’re adopted”.  THe next day the kid came in and told us that he confronted his parents about it and that they said he was adopted but wanted to wait for the right time to tell him.  

image

#ok 

maryjblige:

lmpossibleprincess:

why do all mens rights activists on reddit look like the dad from peppa pig

image

leave peppa pig out of this

hotsenator:

Dear Mr. Flocka Flame, in the attached file you will find my resumé,

hotsenator:

Dear Mr. Flocka Flame, in the attached file you will find my resumé,

zubat:

This kitty accidentally stepped on a bee

image

paulmccartneyswife:

i hope this makes your day or at least sparks a smile because hey Paul McCartney loves you. yeah you go glen coco.

paulmccartneyswife:

i hope this makes your day or at least sparks a smile because hey Paul McCartney loves you. yeah you go glen coco.

cashmerethoughtsss:

levels

cashmerethoughtsss:

levels

©deputyparrish